Better the devil you know

April 13, 2012 by Masao
0

School

better-the-devil-you-know

Well, it’s once again almost finals, and I’m feeling really overwhelmed. But mostly, the lesson I learned this semester is knowing who you’re real friends are.

I’ve learned certain people I thought were nice and friendly turn out to be total backstabbers and unreliable. People who didn’t remotely have my interest at heart. I felt used. But mostly, I feel like I can’t trust just anyone.

Luckily though, though out this process, I did find a friend is true and who has been a constant support through this semester. We actually found each other in a funny way. Last semester she (we’ll call her Lisa) was close to another girl (we’ll call her Mary), but Mary got jealous Lisa got better grades last semester, so Mary started to purposely leave Lisa out of thing, and not share with her. This hurt Lisa a lot because Lisa had done nothing but be kind to Mary, sharing with her and trying to help. So one day, feeling extremely frustrated at having to pretend like she doesn’t know what’s really going on, Lisa vented the issue to me, and I listened.

Later on, when I had problems of my own, Lisa listened and also understood. My friend from last semester (we’ll call her Isabella), whom I had thought was really close, turned out she only was good to me if I followed along and did everything she wanted to do, but she wasn’t willing to go along with me when I wanted to do something. I got tired of being used, and I did not like being someone’s lap dog, so I refused to do everything Isabella wanted, when it wasn’t beneficial to me.

We really started to nice how fake certain people were, and after a while, Isabella started complaining to me that I never hang out with her any more, and that I was abandoning her. In reality, I tried asking her to do things, but she always refused, but in the same stroke, she’ll ask me to abandon whatever plans I had, and do stuff with her. When I refused, she got upset. It was annoying that she put it all on me, instead of realizing her own part in it.

Well after a while, Isabella took to another girl (we’ll call her Maria), who played along with Isabella’s needs. At first Lisa and I thought Maria was ok, but we later realized she puts up a huge act; pretending to be dumb and clueless, when she’s really a hawk. She loved to use people and leech off everyone she could. She would superficially offer help, in exchange for our help, but in the end, not deliver.

Obviously we didn’t like being used, so we started to distance ourselves and not allow her to use us. So far Lisa has been more annoyed than me, since I’m usually whatever about all these fake shit, but then Maria started to pester me about how I’m doing on my final paper. She wanted to know how far I am, if I needed any cases (she then offered to exchange cases, but obviously she just wanted whatever I got. The cases she shares were useless, Lisa told me), and she did this everytime she could. Last night I got so annoyed because when she asked how I was doing, I told her “the same,” because I didn’t really want to tell her details. She then asked me if that meant I hadn’t made any progress. And it was just so ridiculous, because (1) we’re not in the same writing class, whatever grade I get will not impact hers (we’re graded on a curve), so I don’t know why she keeps trying to scope me out; (2) it’s none of her fucking business, these final papers are our grade for the entire class, we’re not suppose to be talking about our work or get help from anyone; and (3) just wtf?

I haven’t even mentioned how she keeps saying things like, “we’re friends, right? You’ll be my friend this summer right? We’ll still hang out?” And it’s like…. if you have to ask, obviously we’re not friends. She’s making such huge fake efforts to appear friendly. But today, our Property class had team mini debates, and she tagged along with the team she thought was going to do well, and it turns out their team lost. Lisa and I didn’t vote for her team because their fact pattern was really ridiculous. Lisa and I were a team, and we went against another, and we ended up winning. And Maria was so pissed; she wouldn’t even look at us. Isabella was on the same team with Maria, and left without saying bye, but she’s been doing that to me all semester, so I don’t really care.

Phew, so there goes my rant.  Basically, what I’ve learned in law school? People are back stabbers! lmao. Actually not everyone is so terrible, but I unfortunately got stuck with the worst. There’s plenty of other cool people, and I need to start hanging out with them more. But it is an universal fact that everyone is out for themselves. The key is, the terrible people put up acts and pretend.

From the Ashes

January 13, 2012 by Masao
2

School

from-the-ashes

Returning from the grave? Sorry I’ve been so inactive. After school let out for winter break, I just kind of had to de-stress, and I ended up just not discussing anything.

My grades for fall semester were less than what I expected, to put it lightly. So this semester I will be working much harder on improving. I’m going to aim really high, because previously, I had settled for just doing okay, and I need to get it in my head that I am capable of performing better than most of my classmates. If I don’t even start off with that kind of mindset, how can I ever hope to do well?

Anyway, this does mean less activity from me, because I need to reduce distractions. But I will try to keep up blogging here, to get thoughts out. Otherwise I still post on my tumblr. I swear that thing is like my drug…. can’t get off it.

One thing I want to do is try going to the student lounge once in a while to play ping pong. I played with one of the guys from my section, and it was fun. I suck lol so I need a lot of practice. Only problem is finding someone willing to play with me.

Forsaking one vow or the other

December 19, 2011 by Masao
2

Fandoms

forsaking-one-vow-or-the-other

So basically, my winter break has been consisted of me playing DDR as much as I can, being glued to my laptop browsing tumblr most of the time, and then planning what more fantasy books I can read.

Instead of actually reading the damn books. I think I’m trying to space it out so I don’t run out of good stuff too fast.

What I need to do is squeeze in time to finish playing Persona 4 before I have to head back, because (1) I can’t take my PS2 or TV with me, and (2) even if I could I don’t have the time to play once school starts.

At least productivity-wise, I got the new layout to shinshoku.net up and made an absolutely useless but extremely pleasing on the eyes splash page for storms-end.net (which will be serving as my ASOIAF domain). Once I get back, and can work on design things on my PC, I can finish the two fanlistings I have on upcoming, and hopefully work on more site content before the spring semester gets really busy.

The Rose and the Stag

November 26, 2011 by Masao
0

Fandoms, School

the-rose-and-the-stag

So… I basically went MIA for a while there. I think the only place I keep active at is my tumblr. Everything else I just get in a habit of avoiding for whatever reasons.

What’s happened since my last post is basically a lot of stress at school. I finished my final memo for my writing class right before it was due. It was a nightmare. All week (before it was due) I kept telling myself I was not going to wait until the last minute, but I sat there and just couldn’t write. And finally my time ran out, and I was looking at the night before it was due. I’m just really disappointed in myself that I let it happen. I basically let my grade in the class rest on shitty work right before it was due. I swear, it was the most awful time I’ve had to go through. Next semester I’m not doing that again. I’m going to push myself harder.

Anyway, after the final memo, it’s just finals. My first final is on the 29th, and my last is on December 8th. After that I’m going to relax and have a bit of fun in the city before I head home for winter break.

Right now I just need to focus on finals, then I’ll be free.

Meanwhile….my odd way of handling stress. Instead of pounding away at studying, I’ve managed to read a lot of extra stuff. I’ve read countless X-Men: First Class fanfics and managed to finish book 2 of A Song of Ice and Fire: A Clash of Kings, and now I’m over a quarter in the 3rd, A Storm of Swords. I swear my habit of avoidance has got to stop. I need to control myself and make sure I save the rest of the novel for my break. I just need to think about rewards after the finals. I need to look forward to playing lots and lots of DDR when I hang out with my hometown friends.

Almost there…

Does society make consent implicit?

October 11, 2011 by Masao
10

School

does-society-make-consent-implicit

We finally reached the Rape section in Criminal Law, and I have to say, I am thoroughly appalled at the standard. Not only is it required that the victim (in most cases women) lacked consent, but she has to be forced. And the law required a lot for something to be considered “force.” Some jurisdictions will use “constructive force,” which is mostly a perceived threat of force than actual physical force, but in a lot of cases, it just doesn’t stick.

To start off the Rape section, our class did our first mock trial, with two students for prosecution and two for defense. Two male students volunteered and were chose by lottery and they chose prosecution, while two girls were selected for Defense. And the rest of the class had a chance to be selected for jury. During the trial Defense and Prosecution argued over consent and force, and when the jury deliberated, I was rather surprised how many girls on the jury did not believe the female victim lacked consent. Some of them thought because she had previously had sex with the accused rapist, that meant she knew what she was getting into, and her lack of active resistance meant she really didn’t feel threatened. Basically it was the classic idea that if the victim did not aggressively protest, that meant she didn’t mind it that much after all. This kind of ignores the fact that when victims struggle, they incur a higher risk of harm and even possible death. Which is why most victims don’t dare to struggle.

And this all just makes date rape that much easier. When you do get raped by your “date,” no one really believes you were raped. In essence, you either asked for it or actually consented. Reading some of the cases and hearing my classmates (especially the female’s, since all the male jurors voted for prosecution) made me really despondent over the whole idea. What made it worse is after class, while my friend (whom I will not name) and I were studying, I discussed some of my feelings, and when she disagreed about consent, I brought up the fact wives get raped by husbands, just because they don’t put up a fight, doesn’t mean they gave actual consent. And she said husbands don’t rape their wives.

Yeah…

So lesson I got out of all this, save for getting murdered (which is obviously not fun), the one crime you never ever want to be a victim of is rape. Chances are (especially if it was date rape), it’ll go unpunished. It’s just so unduly burdensome for the victims.

Yes, I am feeling very pessimistic right now.

Friendly chatter

September 30, 2011 by Masao
0

School

friendly-chatter

Yay! My Macbook Pro cover arrived today. Now It’s covered in a light, see-through blue. It also included keyboard covers, but it makes typing a little annoying, so I’m not sure if I’ll keep it on.

That aside, I did quite a bit more socializing today, and outside my usual comfort zone, too. A couple classmates and I got a study room in the library and worked on the short research assignment due later today. After collectively working on the research part, we got down to writing out our memos separately, which was really the part we all procrastinated over. The two other girls, Lisa and Mary, left around 2PM because they wanted to get home early, so then it was just me and two guys from our small writing class section. One of them, Yusuf, I regularly talk to, the other one, Ben,  rarely talk to. But we all got along well and surprisingly, I was the first one to get my memo done. Then I read for class on Tuesday since I was waiting on Yusuf, because he was hungry, and also wanted to grab something to eat.

While I was in that room with them, I found out both of them liked anime, although not as much as myself, but it was just nice knowing. Since while Yusuf is more chill and a slight bit dorky, Ben looks like one of those jock types. But I feel like such a fail fan because they’ve both seen Akira (though Ben saw it drunk…) and I have not.

After Yusuf got his memo done, we looked around for a place to eat. Unfortunately most of the nice placed closed already (I swear everything downtown here close around 4pm) so we settled with McDonalds. Yusuf got a parfait (he loves those, we joke around with him all the time because he always gets that) and I got a tiny, lame chicken sandwich. While we ate, we somehow got on the discussion of our section and how everyone there is nice, then about how few people in our section was beautiful/handsome. Of the guys, it as just Ben, but of the girls, there was a bit more. Then he made me rate Ben, lmao and I gave Ben a 9, and Yusuf was surprised. Then we got on the discussion of relationships, and we shared the expectations our families had on us.

He told me something he said he had not told anyone else in our class, about the plans his parents had for him in marriage, so I told him of my semi-secret plans of never getting married. I had to catch the train really fast after that, so we didn’t get to discuss it more, lol so I hope he didn’t get the wrong impression about why I don’t have any interests in marriage and relationships.

Anyway, I like Yusuf (platonically lol), he’s really easy to talk to and I get the sense he’s dorky like me. I hope we stay good friends through law school and out in the work field.

There’s a party at our Dean’s house for all the first year student tomorrow night, so I hope it’ll be a good time.

Let’s not all panic

September 28, 2011 by Masao
0

School

lets-not-all-panic

So I’ve got midterms coming up in a few weeks. I’m starting to get that panicked feeling that I’m going to fail miserably and flunk myself out or something.

I feel like I’m not doing enough studying and reviewing and putting all the extra time in like I should be. I’m just so worried I won’t do well because there’s just so much information to retain, and I’m afraid if I don’t prepare myself enough, I may end up panicking during the exam, and forgetting to include things I know.

I’ve been doing my typical escapist tactics and worrying so much that I end up not doing anything productive. Studying, web design stuff, everything. Except I blew time off by marathoning TV shows.

And a bit of extra note, I need to make more icons to use here. /lazy with photoshop

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